How Stupid Were YOU?

[HJahn]

How stupid was I? I'll tell you...

When I got a trailer-load of old "junk" Harleys in the early 1970s I didn't know what a piston was. But that didn't stop me from tearing into those motors and building me a "*****'n" chopper -- or so I thought at the time as I HATE choppers now.

Anyway, one of the Pan motors (49FL) had a stuck piston. So what did I do? I hammered it out and broke the skirt off the cylinder. That was nice. Then I sold an old "junk" frame for like $20 and only got it back when it turned out to be broken under the caked on grease in several places. Guess what? It turned out to be an original condition 1936 EL Knucklehead frame!

When I got my first Panhead running I put the hydraulic pushrods in upside down and broke the cup on the lifter -- but I rode it home that way. Then I put the footclutch back together wrong and it didn't stay heel down and acted like a suicide clutch. That led to a few ugly situations when my foot slipped off the clutch!

But most stupid of all, I didn't buy those $300 ratty stock Knuckleheads that seemed to be all over the place back then and then overnight seemed to vanish!

That's how stupid I was. How stupid were you?

[Hrdly-Dangrs]

Let's see...hmmm that checks out ok....

Yeah, so I'm riding around town...jump on the highway, a quick blast down to the next exit...off the exit and back off the throttle and kinda coast to the light ahead. Cool....Chevy convertible full of GIRLS!... pull up....gotta show off a little...drop the clutch and....Nothing... NOTHING?.....GIRLS LAUGHING as they pull away. OK...hurry-up....start to do the check list....(I'll catch up to them)...Get off the bike...checking things out...my great brain doing the check list stuff, Throttle...ok, Motors running...ok, Trans in 1st gear....More throttle.....ok...Trans in gear....ah ok..... chains turning....ok.......CHAINS TURNING?...What the H--L!......Yep... Sportster.....sheared the rivets on the rear sprocket.......Hey only took the better part of 10 minutes to diagnose!.... ..Hrdly-Dangrs

[HJahn]

Those darned rivits!

Oh yeah, those thin rivited drums were a nightmare! I never had one actually fail, but they would get loose. Then I'd pull the nasty greasey wheel and drum, hammer the rivits tight, and wonder how long until they loosened up again. I knew guys who spot-welded the sprocket on. I wonder how many points an AMCA judge would take off for spotting that???

Yeah, a chick will make a dude awfully stupid awfully quick. One time I was looking at a cute girl and ran into the back of a car at a stoplight. That was a lesson that I NEVER forgot. Sure, look at chicks, but only a quick glance and get those eyes back up front where they belong.

Here's a stupid story a friend of mine experienced. I was not present, but have the details pretty close as I remember hearing them....

This friend (Frank) had a 1946 Harley 80-inch flathead parts bobber with a foot clutch. One "evening" he came home after a "few" beers and pulled up outside the front door. His wife and baby were long in bed. Before he turned off his motor ("shut down his mill"), he noticed this odd rattling noise.

Thinking there was something wrong with his bike, he got off and down on his hands and knees and listened. The odd rattling sound seemed to be coming from the primary cover (front chain guard). Then, all the sudden, while he was still kneeling there wondering if his bike was turning to junk, his machine suddenly lurched forward and crashed into the screen door of his house and was propelled inside the room where the baby was sleeping.

Of course what happened was that he stupidly left his bike in gear with the foot clutch in heel down (disengaged) position. Engine vibration from his running engine slowly moved the clutch into the engaged position and the bike took off right into the house! The noise was the disengaged outer clutch disk hitting the derby screws or something.

It goes to show those foot-clutches HAD to be set up properly to work right. That sort of thing couldn't happen with a hand clutch. Of course, having a few beers didn't help things either....

PS: I realize H-D did NOT build a 1946 "80-inch" model. But I'm positive that's what he had. Like I said, it was a parts bike.

[Hrdly-Dangrs]

Oh Yeah, I Forgot.....'Adrenilin Rush'

The feeling you get the second you realize the rear chain is turning and the bike is in gear while standing at a half crouch as you stare into the carb side of the motor feeling the bike 'Lurch' as you reach for the rear chain with your left hand to balance the bike cause your right hand is revving the thottle because you didn't put the kickstand down.... ...Hrdly-Dangrs