Hard to Kick Start - Make Money!

[azpaul50]

Wow!

I haven't checked the forum for quite a while and am dismayed by this Martin guy! While I really don't care what anyone thinks about me personally, I believe that some clarification might be in order for everyone else. I believe that a "normal" person with these interests would read between the lines and see that I am a fun person. I did in fact make $11.00! It is also true that the contributors were all friends. In a small town, I am also the local car/bike eccentric but liked by most people who know me. I am a prankster and player in both vintage bikes and cars owning probably the most unique collection in this SMALL town. I am also an expert on none of what I collect and don't claim to be. I also realize that in terms of vintage bike experience, I am a little fish here among bigger, more experienced veterans. That doesn't bother me in the least. I can't comment much technically but hoped to add to this site's interest by relating a true (and funny) story! At the time it happened (Feb '06), it was ALL IN FUN. Still, did anyone think I would let some average citizen mess with my Pan? The $1.00 each was in deference to my personality. My friends know I meant it and coughed up the buck each knowing that they'll "get" me later with some prank or joke. At car shows, I've learned to not freak out at seeing a puddle under my car. It is usually water placed there by my sneaky friends! The "hand full of oily bolts" laying under my engine gag is another classic! They also knew enough to respect my property and also know I'm not the same guy physically I once was. The real fun came when after each failed attempt, I grandiosly pocketed each dollar to the roars of laughter about SOMEONE else (among friends). We were ALL red-faced! For my embarrassment kicking, I spread around the wealth to my friends in good humor and fanfare waving my monetary gains. As for their age, I'm getting so old that EVERYONE is younger! As for Martin, the operative thought here isn't bikes, truth, or technicalities....it is friends and fun!

[azpaul50]

One more truth...

Martin...the part about the cat is ALSO TRUE! His name is Fred and he is 20 years old! He does occasionally crap in my shoe if I feed him late or leave him alone for longer than he thinks is right. I also believe he is an informant to my friends for thinking up new jokes and gags. Yuma is a Marine town and most of us are veterans. It is a barracks humor sort of friendship some of us learned in Vietnam. Martin...best wishes and riding to you, my friend!

[Ohio-Rider]

Hey azpaul50, I for one have enjoyed this thread you started a while back and thank you for it. What good is telling a story if you can't embellish it a bit here and there. That why its called "Parking Lot Chatter." The only problem is that the internet is quite a large parking lot with out fences. So ocassionally a stray dog is going to wander in and piss on something.

One of the things that keeps this forum fun is not only can you get a wealth of info about a problem with a antique cycle, you can also drop by and share a good story with a bunch of great people. Keep enjoying it axpaul50. -Steve

[azpaul50]

Another New Story....

I recently bought a '53 Sears Allstate 811.40 scooter that was restored. Because it is cheaper to have stuff delivered to commercial places, I had it delivered to our local Harley Dealership. Because of my business, I told them to check it out and get it started... expecting no problems. I would pick it up in a few weeks when I had time. A few days later, it cleared the maintenance bay out when one of the original tires decided to explode all by itself! It was just sitting there in the line of Harleys so nobody knew what had happened at first. People came running, first outside, then inside seeing no greater catastrophy in the making. Finally, after cleaning our the jellied gas in the fuel system, the day came for my first ride. Imagine a long maintenance bay with dozens of skull adorned new Harleys on either side. I pulled it out and pointed it towards the open bay door that was the full length of the bay away. I kicked to no avail and decided to kick standing on the side with a different leg. On the first kick, it caught but was at full throttle! I was standing by it holding the handlebars with the tires spinning wildly. It began fishtailing and was in imminent danger of hitting a new Buell nearby. So, I let it roll forward just enough to clear but couldn't regain my foothold. So, off we went with me eventually jumping onto the seat as we headed for the ticket writer's desk! There is no handlebar brake on an old Allstate, by the way. I got control and rolled out the door as half of the local motors cops watched! They were exchanging their old Harleys for new ones purchased under city contract. In the end, I figured out that the trottle worked backwards from motorcycles. The cable was also a little short. So, I left it there until the part arrived days later. Now, I'm off to the DMV down the street for VIN verification...no plate...no mirrors...no horn....and just a title. I look to my side and there's a motor cop with lights flashing. I pull over...it is hard to look indignant or tough on an old Allstate scooter, and awaited my fate. After not saying anything and circling my scooter with his pad out...he says, "Oh, you're the guy that terrorized the Harley Shop!" Without further comment....he put away his ticket pad, got on his bike and rode off! Obviously, my tattoos scared him!

[azpaul50]

Oh....

The above occasion (post) changed my road name....now I'm called "bugeyes" based on the description given by our Harley mechanics as they saw me fly out the door! Go ahead, Martin... call me "stupid." I've bee married before and thrive on abuse!

[Kojack]

Azpaul;
Martin is basically a troll: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Internet_troll . He just posts derogatory remarks to try and get a rise out of people. Since I called him one he hasn't posted on this thread. He did surface a couple of weeks ago to criticize Chopper Dave's bike. I doubt that he really has anything to do with antique motorcycles at all and probably isn't even an adult. More than likely he's some kid just playing around. (Do you have Prince Albert in a can?) We're all better off to ignore him.

[c.o.]

I used to be offended by Martin, but exerics's post on him made me think. I know that everytime he posts I look at what he says first. I find now that I know what he's up to that he amuses me more than anything......... This web-site has a lot of good people participating on it......... we need a bad apple around now and then to keep us on our toes.............

Cool stories by the way azpaul......... a Sears Allstate rider all tattooed up will intimidate the man every time........

[DWN]

Cool stories by the way azpaul......... a Sears Allstate rider all tattooed up will intimidate the man every time........ [/B]

It's funny how police officers react whem the meet the unexpected. I got pulled over for 82/55 on a sport bike. The cop knew I was going much faster because he saw me pull back into the line of traffic and could see I was hard on the brakes when he clocked me. Imagine his surprise when instead of some youkg kid, an old bald head came out from under my helmet.......he let me off with a warning.

[azpaul50]

Bike pics

Was just reading some more replies and was thinking that I hadn't posted any pics of my stuff. Frankly, I usually forget to take pics and keep meaning to take them for a personal site I've converted from my old web sales site. Anyway, here's two of them. The pic was from Riverside CA last Fall. There was a guy here talking about his event so I went. Anyway, this pic was a quick snap. '63 Duo and '62 Topper. I do accessorize but use only period stuff. My GF says the Fuo looks like something Liverace would create. How do you attach attach a candelabra without drilling holes?

[azpaul50]

Found more...

With the old lady gone....just staying up all night night getting in trouble! Look at the white grips on the Duo....are they supposed to be the smooth ones?

[azpaul50]

One more

The Duo is on its centerstand...has F-1 F-5 Highway packages...

[azpaul50]

Last...

Adminguy - If I took up too much space just delete the pics. I'll shoot pics of the Sears Allstate one of these days but i'm trying to figure out a way to sneak up on it without having the tires explode or have it run off! I have a Nash Metropolitan too and want to take a pic of the Nash and the Allstate together....the "Elmer Fudd" Transportation Collection! told you I was a fun guy....

[Kojack]

Two very nice machines. I gotta ask, how do you get that Duo Glide up on the center stand? I have one on my FLH and haven't been able to make use of it.

[koanes]

Kojack, I carry a short piece of 2by4 with a 45 degree cut on both ends in my saddlebag. If you roll the rear wheel up on the board it is easy to get the bike up on the stand without strain. Thanks for the stories AZPaul, good fun.

[azpaul50]

Center Stand

I can't do it by myself although stories abound about individual people having the balance and strength to pull back on the bike alone. I drop the stand, standing by the bike and holding it like I am about to mount, and chock the stand with my boot as someone helps by pushing back on the front of the motorcycle as I simultaneously pull back. It is roughly equivalent to pushing a couch as I prepare them as to what to expect in effort. Getting off the stand is easier going forward and I've been able to do that alone by pushing forward. But then you have to get off and snap the stand back onto the bike. This was supposed to help the stranded rider in changing a rear flat. I think it was a justification for biker gangs as it takes more than one person to actually do things with this behemoth. ....or Paul Bunyan was in mind when designing the accessories! I doubt if anyone uses this feature regularly. While the Duo rider is messing with the stand and the inevitable kick start dance, everyone else has hit their start butoon and arrived at the next stop!